Its true! You really are your biggest competition! My most satisfying "win's" against my biggest competition have been the those accomplishments I told MYSELF over and over that I COULDN'T do and then DID!!!
I have debated doing this post for quite sometime, but my fellow "Inspiring Journey" blogger finally convinced me that since we were coming of another 10 week competition now might be a good time. So here it goes. Here it goes at the risk of sounding like the biggest, brattiest baby. But before I go to much further let me start by saying, YES I am major competitive. Not sure why or how. It has been a good thing and thing. It has made people absolutely hate me and it has inspired others. I guess its all in how you take it. But please know that just because I am competitive I also have huge heart and feelings and genuinely care about people. Especially the people I find myself in competition with! In my head, at the moment, I may want to squash them like a bug but in all actuality I am thankful that they too see me as competition and are giving me a run for my money :)
Ok, with that said he comes my bratty story. And how being competitive not only just about ruined everything, but also might have saved me as well...(but this is part of my "inspiring journey" right?)
So at the gym both Shauna and I go to they have a 10 week body transformation competition. Whoever does the most transforming in that 10 week session wins $1000. So, when I joined Farrell's THIS was my goal. Yeah yeah yeah, I was going to lose weight, I was going to change the way I eat, hey and I might gain a little muscle, but I WAS GOING TO WIN THIS!! And for me it wasn't so much about the money, as much as it was about having the "title" and having the "title" in a fitness competition of all thing!! So, during my 10 weeks I became VERY close friends some of my 10 week team. At the end I genuinely just wanted someone from our "group" to win. (I honestly thought one of the three guys had the best chance of all of us). When we arrived at the "winner announcement" party and pictures were handed out mine looked ok, and just about as good as anyone elses, or so I thought. So time came and the announced the top 3. Ladies and Gentlemen, my name WAS NOT called! WHAT??!! I didn't even make top 3!! Yep, it was true. But my friend Shauna DID win and honestly at that moment I was beyond happy for her. I was beyond happy that someone from out "group" had won! I jumped and screamed and clapped and hugged and then.... bratty, competitive Jenni reared her ugly head!!!
Ok, so lets back up a bit.
When I started this 10 weeks my goal was to win. I knew the only way that I was going to be able to do that is if I did EVERYTHING I could. I needed to eat right EVERY day. I needed to workout EVERY day and not just show up at the gym, BUT give the gym my highest level. That was what I was going to do. That was how I was going to win this competition. If I didn't win this competition at least I knew that I gave it my very all that I made every sacrifice I could have made. So this is what I did. I showed up EVERY day. I worked hard EVERY day. On the one day the gym was closed, I worked out that day too. I kept my nutrition on point and only took 3 cheat MEALS during the whole 10 weeks. I worked so hard. So come announcement night, when my name wasn't even called (along with 100+ other names of people who worked their tails off) for the top 3 my spirit was broken a little. I did have someone come up and say to me "you were in the top 5" And while I smiled politely and thanked them inside I was saying "Yeah, well what does top 5 get ya...a big fat NOTHING" It wasn't until a couple weeks later when my head cleared that I realized what being top 5 did get me! (I'll get to that in a bit)
I went to work the next day in tears. How could this happen? I worked my butt off. So what did I do. Exactly what my biggest competition (ME!) wanted me to do. I threw a hissy fit. I ate anything and AND a piece of cake FROM my work cafeteria. Yes, I continued to attend Farrell's everyday, but not giving my workout my highest lever for sure. Plus, I'd walk by Shauna's picture everyday with the thankful thought I didn't have a sharpie to draw a mustache and horns on her pictures. I'd roll my eyes at the mention of "There's a $1000 winner in the house" ugh it was killing me (and honestly, it probably was), Then one day my good friend Shanon sent me the sweetest text and snapped me out of it. (not sure what I'd do without that girl) I realized this had NOTHING to do with Shauna, this had NOTHING to do with Farrell's it was about me and I was RUINING all my work that I had done in the last 10 weeks by being the biggest brat. I HAD to snap out of it!
My competition with myself was NOT over. Yes, the Farrell's competition was done, but I still had/have a lot of work left to do. And my competition constantly tells me that I will not win. OH YES I WILL!!!!!
So what did coming in the top 5 give me? Way more than I will ever be able to explain in words. it gave me the ability to chose foods that are good for my body. (by the way, after eating the crap I did for the week I was being a brat I ended up getting very sick and I am pretty sure it was all because of the nasty foods I chose to eat. I didn't eat anything that would have helped my body fight off the nasty sinus infection I ended up with) During my 10 weeks (I think week 5) I went below 200lbs for the first time in 12 years. I fit into a pair of jeans I had been holding onto for over 15 years. I caught my husband staring a little bit longer than he had in a long time. I held my head higher. I felt better. I could move better. I could play with my kids easier. I made some of my best friends in that 10 weeks. This is what coming in the top 5 has given me. Sometimes I think, how dare I even want more than that but the competitive part of me thinks I bet there is more than that.... push yourself and lets see!!!
Competition in good. Don't let it ruin you. Let it drive you. Let it push you. Let it be the reason you don't give up, not this time!!!
No comments :
Post a Comment
We would love to hear about your journey, or even things you would like to see on this blog :)